They entrance me,
their warmth calls me,
breaking away the poorly stitched heart,
burning the thin thread,
pulling at the edges,
tearing at my heart,
forcing me to;
unravel and spin out of control,
as a motorbike would
if given the delight.

Caught in its powerful trap,
the beauty of the flames
sear my heart;
and at last I break,
shattering to the ground,
large pieces, crumble
into fragments of the past
and I am, gripping the remainders,
not knowing how to take another step,
breathe another breath,
smile another smile;
I am broken.

and then her eyes stop.

Linger on the one she dreads,
the one she never thought
would come;

fear runs through her veins;
and she begins to shake.

He’s back.

My wide eyes water
and spill silently;
at least they don’t echo
like the water flowing from the tap.
They roll cautiously down my porcelain cheeks
and drift, drift, drift away
to be forgotten – to be lost.

My heart crumbles at the edges,
every pieces of it, of me
which breaks is followed by another;
crumbling into dust, to ashes.
They say it should bleed
but I know bleeding would hurt.
And so I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.

with an aching body,
I bravely succumb yet again,
to the sleep I fear,
I fail to resist;
you’re calling me in my sleep,
I lash out, kicking, tossing, turning,
muttering words no one can decipher;
you’re real, I am real,
I feel you touch me,
hear your words with my ears,
feel your body
pressed tightly against mine,
and I grab you
no longer being tempted,
becoming overwhelmed with need,
only to find you fade away…
blown into another place with the wind,
caught in the sea’s grasp,
pulled from my reach.

I wake,
startled and shaking,
knowing I was terribly close
and yet so far away;
it burns more holes in my battered heart,
angry at myself, I strike out
kicking the air,
screaming to no one,
staring into the bleak darkness,
I shudder and let sleeps hands
grasp me once more,
I am a puppet in this world,
surrendering to all that fight me.